S01 Ep02: Don’t Let the Doubters Discourage You

EntrepreneurshipSelf-ImprovementEducation

Dec 27

Written By Melissa Wesner

Not everyone will understand your dreams, and not everyone will believe in you or your ability to achieve your dream. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dream it or pursue it!
In today’s episode, we’ll be talking about:
• Reasons people sometimes have difficulty dreaming
• Factors that cause people to experience doubt in themselves and in others’ ability to achieve
• Strategies you can use to ground yourself and overcoming your own self-doubt
• Steps you can take to surround yourself with other big dreamers
• And, my favorite personal experience in dealing with a doubter
Use others’ doubt to drive your dream!
Hey Big Dreamer, If you listened to the last episode, then you know that not everyone is a big dreamer. And while it can feel soo discouraging to be around someone who doesn’t share the same optimism and excitement for what is possible, I want to take some time to acknowledge some of the very real barriers that can get in the way of someone’s ability to dream. I’ll be talking about some things you can do to get over your own self-doubt too!
Before I do that, however, I want to share a story about a doubter I experienced in my own life….let’s call him dad!
It was probably Thanksgiving, and we were all sitting around the table eating when I casually mentioned that I was going to sign up to run a marathon. You see, the Baltimore Running Festival is always in October which means that I would have just finished running the half marathon. Naturally, it was time to take things up a notch. My dad, however, had a different opinion. While scooping food onto his plate, I heard him mumble towards my mom, “I don’t think she can do that.” What? I asked. I don’t think you can do that, he said. Oh, really? Up for the challenge, a smirk came across my face, and I invited him to come and watch when I do run that marathon.
You see, the doubters in our lives can come from different places.
Some people struggle to dream because of their childhood experiences or messages they’ve received from society or their family of origin. There are times where we absorb these messages without realizing how they’ve impacted our beliefs about what is possible or about what we’re capable of. These underlying beliefs then influence our actions or inactions.
Some people are doubtful about our dreams because they’ve never seen it done before….perhaps they’ve never seen it done by anyone in the family…or they’ve never seen it done by anyone who looked like them.
And…then you have the people who are just downright rude, negative, and intentionally discouraging. Whether they are terribly negative because misery loves company, because they would absolutely hate to see you succeed while they remain stuck in their own miserable mess, or because they have nothing better to do than troll people on the internet, you should definitely not give these people your attention or your ear.
As the dreamer, we have to be super rooted and grounded in the knowing of who we are and what we are capable of. If we lack that rootedness, it will be easier for us to feel wobbly and discouraged and unsure of our own abilities when faced with someone who struggles to dream and is full of doubt.
If you’re sitting there listening and wondering how in the world do I become more rooted and grounded? I don’t even know how to do that…..know that there are many things you can try. It can be as simple as getting into the habit of doing daily meditations or affirmations. It might look like taking better care of yourself through consistent sleep hygiene, exercise, and nutrition which will naturally help you feel better and improve the quality of your thoughts. It might mean signing up for therapy, so you can work through family of origin stuff, including old, unhelpful messaging that you’ve absorbed and taken on. Therapy can also help you work through your own self-doubt and low confidence. And quick side note from a therapist: If you deal with depression, anxiety, trauma, an attention disorder, among other things too, know that unhelpful thoughts and negative self-talk can run rampant with these conditions. It’s important to know that those thoughts have nothing to do with the TRUTH about you and who you are and everything to do with what’s happening with your mental health. Therapy can help you recognize when you’re experiencing thoughts that are inaccurate, unhelpful, or untrue and it can teach you how to address them.
Coaching is another option if you’re looking for support geared towards your professional and entrepreneurial dreams. And…you can be intentional about surrounding yourself with other big dreamers who will get excited by your big dreams and who will support you and cheer you on. Join a coaching program, a mastermind, or go on a retreat like the one I’m hosting. This means putting yourself in environments that support you and help you feel expansive. It means surrounding yourself with other big dreamers who are excited rather than intimidated by your dreams.
If you are the one doubting yourself, the good news is that you are 100% in control of getting the support you need to change that!!! That’s awesome!!! You’re a dreamer AND a doer, so you can make that happen.
If you’re surrounded by doubters, get grounded and don’t let the doubters discourage you—-use their doubt to drive your dream, and when you accomplish it, you can give them a front row seat to seeing you achieve it.
Which brings me back to dear old dad…..in case you were wondering about what happened to him. Well, firstly, he gave me permission to share this story, AND….you can bet that I too gave him a front row seat to watching me run my first marathon. And because I REALLY wanted to rub this in, I may have left behind a very special sign for him to hold while watching the race which read, “I lost a bet today. My daughter CAN run a marathon.” And….to this day, I have a great picture of my dad running beside me in that race while holding up that sign.
To show you just how much fun it can be to prove people wrong, I’m going to be sharing this picture with you too! If you’re not already following along on social media, be sure to connect with me, so you can check out this picture! I’ll leave my social links below in the show notes. This picture is one of my favorites!!