S01 Ep25: When Opportunity Comes Knocking, How Will You Respond?

EntrepreneurshipSelf-Improvement

Apr 30

Written By Melissa Wesner

Over the past few years, I’ve had the opportunity to witness people’s responses to the opportunities that come their way….specifically how they respond to the opportunities they said they wanted.
In this episode, I’ll be talking about:
• Using discernment to determine whether or not an opportunity is a good one for you
• Recognizing and celebrating the presence of opportunities all around you
• 4 categories of people I’ve seen respond to opportunities (get ready to meet Aspirational Annie, I Didn’t Think I’d Have to Do Anything Debbie, Move Heaven and Earth Maria, and I’m Not Worthy Wanda.)
You’ll also get to hear how I’m shifting my own approach to opportunities, and the types of opportunities I am currently open to receiving!
Who’s ready to talk opportunity??
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Fill out this interest form, so you can be the first to know about future retreats: https://bit.ly/49ZB16Q
Read about the Greater Baltimore Clinician Community Membership that’s opening up soon! Email melissa at melissa@lifespringcounseling.net to get on the waitlist: https://bit.ly/3UhFhcd
Seasoned Clinicians Peer Consultation Group with Melissa's team: https://bit.ly/4dfg7DD
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (00:21)
Hey, thanks so much for joining me today on the Dreaming and Doing Podcast. I'm just getting back from Costa Rica where I was hosting a retreat for entrepreneurs and there are so many things that I could probably say about it. But right now in this moment, the only thing that's coming to mind is really just how much this experience reiterated and confirmed my love of hosting retreats. For me, there is nothing.
better than being able to have a vision and then to create these really meaningful and wonderful opportunities for other people to come together, have community, just make memories. So I just love that. And while I don't enjoy all of the things that you have to do before a retreat like the marketing and advertising and social media, don't love any of that, I absolutely love the experience of hosting in and of itself.
So if you missed the last retreat, know that I'll have a link in the show notes where you can sign up to get updates on any other retreats that I offer in the future. So there's no retreat planned at this time. I have no future location. And while I do have some thoughts about retreats that I would be open to doing in the future, they are not planned. And before I do anything, I want to make sure that I'm taking inspired action and that I have a location that I absolutely love.
So I wasn't lying about not having another retreat planned. But if you are interested in getting information about the next retreat that we host, make sure that you sign up on that wait list so you can get information. The one thing that I am doing right now, so for those of you who don't know, I do host what we have been calling the Greater Baltimore Clinician Community Membership, and that is for therapists in the Greater Baltimore area who are...
looking to have some fun, get to know other therapists, do some self-care. We meet on a monthly basis while doing things like candle making, soap making, kayaking, lots of fun things. Our membership is about to open up again. If you're a therapist in the greater Baltimore area and you're like, I'm feeling lonely or isolated, I need to meet some new people. I need some new friends. I need to go and do something fun, get out of my routine.
then I'll include that link in the show notes as well. You can take a look at what we've been doing. And if you're interested, you can send me an email at melissa at life to get on our signup list. It's a wait list, it's not open yet. So, moving on. Today we are talking about opportunities. And this is something that I've been reflecting on quite a bit lately. And over the past few years, I've had a number of opportunities to see how
different people respond to the opportunities that come their way, including the opportunities that they say they've wanted. So while you're listening, I hope you'll ask yourself, how do I respond when opportunities come my way? And do any of these examples reflect patterns in my own life? Before we get too into this topic though, I want to say three things. One.
Not all opportunities are good opportunities. This is where we need to use discretion and discernment. If you're a business owner like me, shiny object syndrome is real. And sometimes we need to use our discretion to determine which opportunities are good ones and which ones are not. Some opportunities will suck up your time and distract you from more important projects. If you're like many people though, it takes practice and sometimes life experiences to help you determine
when to say yes and when to say no to the opportunities that come your way. Number two, a great opportunity at the wrong time might not be a good opportunity after all. Sometimes we're offered a great opportunity at a time that's not great. If taking advantage of an opportunity creates more stress than it's worth, it might be better to say yes to your piece.
than to an opportunity that will simply increase your stress levels by taking advantage of it. And three, that opportunities come in all shapes and sizes. I mention this because there are opportunities all around us, including great ones. And if we're practicing mindfulness and gratitude, then I think it's worth recognizing when even those smaller opportunities come our way. We don't have to withhold celebrating or...
We don't have to withhold gratitude just because an opportunity that came our way isn't the super ginormous opportunity we were waiting for. It's okay for us to celebrate and also to recognize the smaller daily opportunities that come our way too.
All right, so a friend of mine loved the book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I don't know if you've read it. I have yet to read it. It's on my wish list. But I will always think about this one quote, because my friend used to love it, and he would share it regularly. And this quote is, and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
So if there's something that you want, an opportunity that you want, put it out there so others know that you want it. When other people know, they too will help bring those opportunities your way. So I'm gonna read that quote again. And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. And this relates to my question.
When opportunity comes knocking, how will you respond? I'm going to share about the four different kinds of people that I've seen over the past few years when it comes to how they respond to opportunities. And I'm gonna share my thoughts for each of these people. I've created some fun names to describe the patterns that I've seen. And just as we said, when you put a desire out there,
people conspire to help you achieve it. So the first person that we will call aspirational Annie. Aspirational Annie wants to want certain things, but she doesn't actually want them. She talks about what she'll do, she talks about the opportunities she wants, but when the opportunities she said she wanted come her way, she declines and does not take advantage of them.
Now, I don't know why aspirational Annie says that she wants things that she doesn't truly want. Perhaps she likes the idea of doing something, but when the opportunity presents itself realizes that the idea of doing something is different from the experience of actually doing the thing. For all the aspirational Annies out there, I'd say have an honest conversation with yourself about what you truly do want.
From there, be honest in your communication with others because if not, others will be disappointed when they gift you with the opportunities that you say you want only for you to decline time and again. So let me give you an example. Someone I know told me and my partner that they were going to come and visit us in our new home. Now, we've been in our home for almost three years now and-
this person has yet to come. This person even told other family members about how they were going to come and visit us. We've given this person several invitations and they have declined all of them. They live far away, so I do get it. But on this one opportunity, there was a family member in their area who was coming to visit us and that family member offered to bring them on the trip.
And they know the person who offered to bring them on the trip. And they offered so they didn't have to drive, which was one of their reservations. It's a long drive. So this person, by offering to drive, right, they're taking that issue away from them. But you know what? Even though they had the opportunity to come and visit, they were going to have someone that they knew give them a ride. They didn't bite and they didn't take advantage of the opportunity. You know why?
Laundry. That's right, laundry. This retired person used laundry as the reason why they weren't going to take advantage of this opportunity that might not come around again. And it reminds me of back in the day when you saw movies of women staying home by the phone. They're waiting for someone to call and ask them out on a date.
And when they finally get that phone call but it's not from the person they want to be calling, rather than being honest, they tell them that they just cannot go out because they have to wash their hair. So aspirational Annie, know that it is okay for you to speak your truth. It's okay to be honest with yourself and it's okay to be honest with others because after all, you're not going to be able to do that.
It's not really fun to have people pursue you about opportunities that you're not really interested in. And to be clear in terms of this specific case, we're not hurt, we're not devastated, we're not even mad at our own aspirational Annie, but it is a really interesting example of a pattern of behavior seen many times by people who are presented with the very opportunity they said they wanted.
So if that's you, it might be time to ask yourself what you really want and to know that you don't have to say that you want something just because it sounds nice. You can simply speak the truth and know that that's okay. When you are more honest with yourself and others, they can offer you the opportunities that you do actually want.
So the second person that comes to mind is, I didn't think I'd have to do anything Debbie. Similar to aspirational Annie, I didn't think I'd have to do anything Debbie talks about the things that she wants to do. And then surprise, those opportunities come to her. And unfortunately, rather than take advantage of those opportunities, I didn't think I'd have to do anything Debbie creates.
Lame excuses for why she can't take advantage of the opportunity. I know. Aspirational Annie's laundry excuse was pretty lame, but I didn't think it'd have to do anything. Debbie's excuses are a little different. Her excuses relate to not wanting to put the effort in to accept an opportunity, even when the effort she would have to put in seems so minimal in light of the opportunity I had.
The opportunity presented might require Debbie to make a phone call, have a conversation. It might mean a rearrangement of the calendar. But I didn't think it'd have to do anything. Debbie is really not up for any of that effort. It reminds me or makes me think of someone who would say, gee, I'm so thirsty. I wish I had a glass of water. And then voila.
Someone provides Debbie with the glass of water she desired, only for her to be disappointed because now she has to lift the glass and drink, even though she is quite capable of doing just that. I think of the phrase, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. In stark contrast to, I didn't think I'd have to do anything, Debbie, is move heaven and earth, Maria. Maria is hungry.
When she's presented with an opportunity that she knows is great, she will move heaven and earth to take advantage of it. If she needs to make a phone call, have a conversation, or adjust her schedule in some way to take advantage of the opportunity, she is on it. She will make a way, and this opportunity will not pass her by. In preparation for the Costa Rica retreat, I have...
definitely witnessed a few move heaven and earth Marias. They were movers and shakers who did whatever they had to do to go to Costa Rica. And I like to think that they're happy that they did. And finally, there's I'm not worthy Wanda. I'm not worthy Wanda has beautiful opportunities that come her way. But because she doesn't believe she's worthy of them, she doesn't take them.
Because she doesn't see her own potential, even though others can see it, hence the opportunities they provide her, she declines. And in declining opportunity after a beautiful opportunity, it leads I'm Not Worthy Wanda to make up stories about herself, about her life, and about her circumstance that simply are not true. In fact, those stories might even reinforce her belief that she's not worthy.
I'm not worthy Wanda could benefit from bravely choosing to take a risk on herself by allowing herself to say yes to the good opportunities that come her way. And maybe by challenging her beliefs about herself and by listening to supportive people who believe in her. So let me ask you, do you resonate with any of these four people? If so, I'd love to hear.
And perhaps you're listening and you're like, but I think there are some other examples. And so if you think that I've missed something, I would love to hear your thoughts. Personally, I know that I'm the person who will work my butt off to create the opportunity that I want. And there are times that I've done this with great flow and ease. And there are other times when I have simply worn myself out by working too hard and putting out.
too much energy. And perhaps you can relate with that too. I am quite confident that I'm not the only one, especially if you're listening, if you're a business owner. Sometimes we work really, really hard to make things happen. And sometimes that leads us to being really exhausted or putting too much energy out. So for now, I am working on changing some things for myself. Instead of working so hard to create opportunities.
I'm in a place of wanting opportunities to come to me. This year, I've been telling myself that opportunity knows where I live. Opportunity knows where to find me. Opportunity knows where my website is. It knows how to find my email and my phone number. And I'm just going to be here, at home, and let opportunity find me.
And right now, the opportunities that can find me are the ones that involve ease, flow, fun, hosting, planning, retreats, and other things that I absolutely love doing. Those are the opportunities that I am okay coming and finding me. So how about you? What are the opportunities you're looking for?
Or maybe you're not looking, maybe you two are like, you know what, those opportunities can come and find me. Send me an email, let me know where you're at. And don't forget, there are resources in the show notes if you are interested in retreats or if you are interested in being a part of our therapist community in the greater Baltimore area. So I look forward to talking with you soon and I'm hoping that opportunities will come your way, that you will recognize them.
that you will have the ability to discern between a good opportunity and one that's not great for you. And I hope that you will have the belief in yourself to take advantage of the opportunities that you've been saying you want this whole time. Have a good one.