S02 Ep05: When You've Got Big Dreams in a Small Town with Laura Mickler
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Have you ever found yourself in a place where your dreams are too big for others to handle? In this week's podcast episode, you'll meet Laura Mickler, a mindset coach and yoga studio owner, who talks about what it's been like to have big dreams in a small town. You'll also get to hear about unexpected changes in her career journey, taking her from a corporate financial career to opening her own yoga studio.
In this episode, you'll get to hear Laura talk about:
embracing the mindset of "Why not?"
what it means to manifest your dreams
the importance of visualizing and embodying your desired outcomes
balancing passion and work
finding joy and setting boundaries
Follow Laura Mickler
Instagram: @lauratakesabreath and @SacredStepsMuncie
Website: www.lauramickler.com
Laura's 'A Soulful Day Self Staycation Retreat' Guide: www.branchcollective.ck.page/88c3893414 -
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (00:01.731)
Welcome back to the Dreaming and Doing podcast. I'm really excited to be here today with Laura Mikler, who is a mindset coach, yogi, and a huge believer in saying, not, in response to people saying, you can't do something, which I really like, of course. And her coaching focuses on determining, manifesting, and implementing the big dreams we have and helping people recognize their burnout.
She spent more than a decade in the corporate financial world and walked away to coach and start her own yoga studio. Laura preaches that money follows when you realize your assignment here on earth and what that is. So at the Branch Collective, she's involved in speaking and teaching and coaching and owning Sacred Steps Yoga Studio and store. So she's got a lot going on. And she lives in Indiana with her husband, Alex, two boys and puppies.
Teddy and Poppy. So Laura, I'm so glad to have you here.
Laura Mickler (01:02.755)
Yes, good to see your face for sure. Yes.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (01:04.981)
Yes, I'm looking forward to catching up with you and also, know to talk about our topic today kind of like career changes and Because when I met you actually you were not doing where I don't think you were doing what you're doing now
Laura Mickler (01:07.981)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (01:21.246)
I was still in that corporate financial career that you just mentioned. So yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (01:24.845)
Yes. And so everything that we were talking about in a program that you and I were in was all about that, right? That world. And, you know, we were at one of our retreats that we were on together. And there were some things that you said that kind of clued me in on to like other interests that you had and you've pivoted. And so today we're going to be talking about that. So talk with us a little bit about that.
Laura Mickler (01:31.828)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (01:42.882)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (01:54.093)
career change you made and any little breadcrumbs that led you in that direction.
Laura Mickler (01:55.491)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (01:59.052)
Yeah, I definitely, and I will, you you're being very polite in saying that I pivoted. I literally lit a match, it in the dumpster and walked away. So that is how I describe my change of career here. But what ended up happening, so I had kind of, you coming out of the pandemic and I worked in the mortgage industry. So I never had any kind of slowdown. In fact, my business went up exponentially. And so,
I had just been working, working, working, working, and I was making money, which was wonderful. But at the same time, I just started to feel icky about some of the things that I was doing. So it was, you know, it's very governmentally regulated. So it was like, this just seems a little bit like it's skewed one way. And, you know, I would have people that, you know, I wouldn't trust with $5 and they were able to lend to them. But then these other folks that I know are going to pay their mortgage on time, couldn't do anything for them. And so just the,
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (02:34.937)
Hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (02:54.455)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (02:55.886)
the kind that just started really to kind of agitate and, you know, feel a little itchy, I guess. And then I think really what the catalyst for me was I lost my mom kind of suddenly in the summer of 2022. And she was only 64 when she passed away. And so that really got me thinking I just turned 40. So, you know, my illogical mind says I've only got like 25, 26, 27 years left. What am I going to do with this?
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (03:16.44)
you
Laura Mickler (03:24.498)
And it just really became apparent to me that things were not, this mortgage thing was not gonna be what I wanted to do forever. But at the same time of that, I had all these people with well intentions, I will say it wasn't malicious or anything like that, but they kept saying to me, but you're so good at it, but you make so much money.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (03:43.565)
Hmmmm
Laura Mickler (03:46.144)
And all of those things were true. However, it just still didn't feel right in my body. It didn't feel right. I wasn't sleeping well. I became so physically sick from all of this. So that's where the burnout piece of my work comes in is I have literally been there. And so making sure that I was being true to myself. And I kind of think the universe jumped in here too, because I know myself. And I would have kind of gradually walked out of it and probably strung it along forever.
but just had a series of events. changed companies thinking that was the issue. And then it just, all of these things snowballed to me just getting really sick and just kind of walking away from everything. And so I had this period and this is all only a year old of freshness. you know, this, I won't say that I'm a pro at any of this by any stretch, but before all of that happened, I had worked with a professional coach for years and honestly was the secret to my success, I think, because I had that accountability.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (04:30.135)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (04:44.854)
I had that person that was just, you everything I was blowing up on my mind to be a huge deal, he would say, but you just do this, this and this, and it's not that big of a deal. And so I think we all need that in whatever profession we're in. But I really, you know, I really thought I, it really lights me up to be able to do this as a mentor, as a coach for other people. And so I kind of knew that maybe I'd want to roll into the coaching role of things and
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (04:57.09)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (05:10.498)
you know, it was just time to take that plunge. And at the same time, I have been a long time yoga practitioner. did my teacher training more for me than anything else. But this opportunity fell into my lap to, to open a yoga studio. And so I thought, why not? And I did it and we just celebrated our first year and it's been a really great way for me to build the community that I want to be around.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (05:34.337)
Yeah, and I remember that moment, right? Because I follow you on Facebook and I'm like, what? Laura has a, what? I just got a yoga studio? Like, what is going on? I don't know anything about Laura and yoga. So lots of pivots.
Laura Mickler (05:36.332)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes. Yes, yes.
Absolutely. And it's so funny because I do get that reaction. I'll see friends from college that I haven't talked to in a couple of years and they're like, literally, what are you doing? What is going on? You're crazy kind of way. Just like, this is a lot. So it does sound like a lot, but it all flows together. And that's what I really wanted for my life was this like, everything just clicking.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (06:11.019)
Yeah, well, and as you know, I'm back recording episodes today and it's just so interesting to hear how all of these conversations are just connecting, right? Like my first conversation of the morning, we were talking about how we can sometimes get caught up striving, striving, striving, being really ambitious and finding that we're unfulfilled because maybe I was striving for something that other people said was worth chasing, like externals, but maybe is not fulfilling to me.
Laura Mickler (06:15.095)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (06:21.442)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (06:37.304)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (06:40.599)
And I'm hearing that for you, but you're so good at it, right? But okay, but it's not giving me meaning, right? And then with Joe, who you briefly saw a second ago, right? Talking about the good life and even how sometimes there are things we put on a pedestal, like having your own business, right? But that might not be right for me, right? And really having the discernment to say, what is it that I want? What is good for me versus what everyone else determines is like the good life.
Laura Mickler (06:43.318)
Mm -hmm. Right, right.
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (06:59.64)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (07:10.242)
Mm -hmm, great.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (07:11.129)
And so I'm hearing all of that in kind of this journey that you've been on over the past few years.
Laura Mickler (07:16.13)
Yes, definitely. I think, you know, for me to, depending on where you live, it can be a huge thing. So, you know, I live in a very small town in Indiana and it's a lot of who do you think you are? And that comes through, you know, just about anything that I'm doing. You know, I have people that call the yoga studio and say, I can't participate in yoga because of my faith. You know, I have a whole other set of opinions on that, but.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (07:25.293)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (07:30.945)
Hmmmm
Laura Mickler (07:42.968)
there are just these outside factors that just kind of come at you sideways sometimes. And it depends on your relationship with your family. Does your family have strong opinions on what you should be doing? And a partner or any of those kinds of things. it's, yeah, you really have to come inside yourself and figure out what you're going to tolerate, what you really want and what's good. So yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (08:07.159)
Yeah, I would love to hear more about that, right? Like thinking about coming from a small town and you're like, I have things that I want for my life. I'm gonna do them. I'm gonna pursue them. And then to see people, it almost sounds like some backlash or some opinions because you've decided I'm gonna pursue things that I want. I'm gonna take up space. I'm gonna do them, because I wanna do them.
Laura Mickler (08:10.69)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (08:21.581)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (08:26.734)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think for me, it was this realization. So I'm kind of one of those like typical Midwesterners that I grew up around here. I went to high school 20 minutes from here. was born at, everyone in my family is born in the same hospital here, you know, just that kind of a thing. But my husband and I really made the decision that like, is an okay place to raise our family. This is where we wanna be. It's very inexpensive to live here. So our priority we placed on travel.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (08:52.269)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (08:55.224)
But even that, mean, when you and I were in our group together, we traveled quite a bit. And just for that, on top of my leisure travel and other things that I was doing. And so it's really interesting to me. mean, I get comments all the time of, and I'm not a person like, let me post my fabulous vacations on social media. But at the same time, I like people to know, you can go do things. You don't have to be stuck. There's a way to make this your priority. And so.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (09:00.291)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (09:12.685)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (09:17.315)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (09:21.996)
you know, with whatever you're choosing to do, people are going to have opinions on it. And so I've just kind of decided, you know, even if it's not the norm for around here, you know, I actually married the only other person in this town that is obsessed with the country of England and likes soccer and all of the things that I like. We're just not the normal people around here. You know, we're not the beer drinking football playing, you know, that kind of a thing.
And so you just really have to lean into finding your people. And that's what I found with the yoga studio is that slowly but surely I am collecting this group of people into my circle that they don't necessarily want what everybody else says you have to have. And especially around here being such a blue collar type of place, it's okay if you want to graduate high school, go to college, get married, get a job. That's the typical thing.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (09:56.727)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (10:17.752)
But what if you don't get a job? What if you build a business instead? just know that you can spend your energy justifying it all the time, or you can spend your energy just doing your thing.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (10:30.487)
Yeah, and that is so interesting, right? Because on one hand, when you're painting, especially like we were born in the same hospital, grew up in the community, there's a part of it that sounds very cozy and homey. And yet there's like this other side where like if you're not fitting in, where maybe you stand out like a sore thumb. But the other part that I love about that is that we can maybe assume because there's pressure to be the same, like kind of fit in.
Laura Mickler (10:35.8)
Mmhmm, mmhmm.
Yes.
Laura Mickler (10:54.978)
Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (10:58.647)
And by you being open and willing to say, I'm gonna do me, I'm gonna do what brings me joy that other people are finding you and realizing that like maybe I'm not alone in wanting these other things and kind of building that community and for other people as well.
Laura Mickler (11:10.318)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (11:15.662)
Right. And I almost see it as, and it's really interesting to me because people for the last probably 10 years of my life have called me brave. And let me tell you, I feel the exact opposite of brave, right? And so, but in my mind, I always have a contingency plan for this. You know, if this doesn't work, I will X, Y, Z. And I don't usually share that with folks, but then people are like, my gosh, you're so brave. But what I'm finding is that just by showing up,
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (11:25.241)
Mmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (11:28.864)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (11:43.522)
that way for myself, I'm inspiring other people to say, you know what, I don't wanna go to an office every day and work it, even nine to five, and that's my whole entire life. Or, you I don't want my whole identity to be my job or whatever it is. And I hope that's not coming across, I don't mean to say I am just so inspiring to all, but I think just anytime you can walk out of that norm and show other people that that's not what you're.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (11:44.237)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (12:09.024)
gonna do. I think it's so cool because other people just, mean, and I think about people that I've myself have drawn to. like, my gosh, they're not doing it the way that you have to do it. And so, you know, that kind of a thing. And so it's very, it's very cool that I've had people come back and say, you were that person for me. And I'm like, I'm just over here, you know, scared crapless. And it's just, it's interesting. So yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (12:18.359)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (12:32.021)
Yeah. Well, and that was the word popping into my head. And one of the things I always think about and tell people when I'm working with clients is that we can, like being brave doesn't mean that we feel brave, right? Brave just means being brave and doing brave things, but we can do brave things and not feel brave at all.
Laura Mickler (12:43.938)
Mm -hmm, right.
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (12:52.162)
Yeah. mean, and I'll use a unit to tear that down an example. I'll use the yoga studio. So I barely, had taught yoga. I'd never owned a studio before. I'd never really owned like a brick and mortar business before. so in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, she really wants me to be in the space where the studio is. she didn't make me sign a lease. So if I do this for six months and I hate it or it doesn't work or, know, I've been paying the rent out of my pocket for that long.
then I walk away and it's okay. And you know, but everybody else is saying, you opened a yoga studio, that's crazy. You know what I mean? And so in my mind, I'm like, well, I guess I'll slap some classes together and throw it on a website and see what we have. so, so yeah, I think, you know, like you said, perception is everything in that and you know, you may perceive people as brave and I can guarantee you that they have the same things keeping them up at night that you do.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (13:26.751)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (13:37.282)
Mmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (13:45.311)
Yeah, yeah. And again, good reminder of like, this is what it looks like on the outside, but you're not seeing what it looks like from behind. Yes. Well, I love that. I want to ask you about a few things that you mentioned in your bio. You mentioned that you believe that money follows you when you realize what your assignment on earth is. And so tell me a little bit more about that.
Laura Mickler (13:50.348)
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (13:59.98)
Yeah, please do. Yeah, please do.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (14:13.567)
I often think to myself or say like, Do what you love and the money will follow. Talk with me about this idea that you have that money follows when you realize your assignment on.
Laura Mickler (14:13.923)
Yes.
Laura Mickler (14:18.573)
Right.
Laura Mickler (14:24.064)
Yeah, I think it goes back truly to what your gifts are and what you're bringing to people. And so that is just naturally going to create, you know, income for you in some kind of way. it may, I'll use this example. This is kind of extreme and this is not me in any, it's just a story I heard, but I love it. So we were on a cruise about two years ago and our waiter was talking about his partner literally has a job where he travels around Europe.
and services those huge organs that are in like the medieval churches, like, you know, Florida ceiling, like, and he literally makes a million dollars a year just traveling around because he's so specific in what he does and he's the best at what he does. And I, you know, I doubt he goes into people and says, well, this, this costs $1 million. Like he probably did not get into that craft, you know, thinking I'm going to be working at Notre Dame and Paris, you know, he just,
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (15:07.969)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (15:23.734)
learned his craft, built with people, connected with people, and then the money started following him. And I think that that is kind of the opposite way that we're all conditioned, right? You're supposed to get this job that has this salary and that's how it has to be instead of, you know, looking at, well, my gosh, I think people might actually pay me to, you know, whatever XYZ is. So I think that's kind of where I come from with that. And you're exactly right. Like do what you love and the money will follow.
It also feels better to make money that way in your body because you're like, I'm doing the things that make me happy. And then I'm also getting paid to do them. And so it just, takes a level of staying out of that that I think not every instance has.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (16:09.109)
Yeah. And I love that example that you just gave of how we're trained to go about this, right? Like choose a profession, choose a career that's going to pay you well. Like that's how we make this determination based on income and then do what you got to do to get into that field as opposed to saying like, what do I actually enjoy doing? Do that thing and trust that everything else is going to line up.
Laura Mickler (16:14.914)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (16:22.37)
Mm hmm. Right.
Laura Mickler (16:30.542)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, and I think you know and it's so hard because I know Melissa we're about the same age and like there was really not another option than college right when we graduated high school like it was just understood that that's what you were doing and I love that you know my kids are 10 and 14 right now and I think they're gonna have a whole other set of options and granted you know technology evolves yes all of those things but they're gonna have the opportunity to
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (16:38.595)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (16:42.872)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (16:56.552)
attend college virtually, they can go into trades without, know, it being like, trades are where you go when you can't go to college, you know, and that kind of a thing. And so, so I love just the cultural shift that we're having with a lot of this too. And you know, I, I joke because my kids want to be YouTubers when they grow up, right? Like every other kid. But then I stop and think about it. I'm like, there are these kids on YouTube that are making more money than I make in a day than I make in a year. And so
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (17:00.995)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (17:04.588)
Yes.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (17:20.375)
Mm -hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (17:23.992)
Who am I to say this is not a valid career? And so I love that. I don't know if you encounter this very often, but I do. It's like a job that you didn't know is a job. So I have a very dear friend. She has been a hospice social worker for years and she just got a new job being a social worker at a vet clinic. And it is the most perfect.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (17:33.933)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (17:48.426)
job for her. She's around animals, but she's also helping people with their it's an emergency hospital. So a lot of trauma and grief and things like that. But is that a job that you ever are presented as a child that you can go and be a social worker in an animal hospital like no, but you know, so I love hearing when people kind of make their own way with this stuff and you know, and I think that's, that's what we need to train our brains to do instead of letting the fear come in of well, I don't know how I'm going to make money with this like
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (17:53.964)
Wow.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (18:03.851)
Right.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (18:08.781)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (18:17.483)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (18:18.465)
It'll come. It'll come.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (18:20.461)
Yeah, now let me ask you, anyone who's like listening to that and they're like understanding my assignment on earth. my gosh, like that is the question of my life. Like I ponder this all the time and I don't know, how am I supposed to know my purpose, right? Like these are like the big life questions. Like what am I here for? What am I supposed to be doing? Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the quote unquote right path? For you, like how did you discover what that is for you and how do you help other people kind of uncover or?
Laura Mickler (18:28.556)
Yes.
Laura Mickler (18:36.692)
Absolutely. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (18:45.559)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (18:49.411)
kind of get in tune with that, what that is for them.
Laura Mickler (18:52.29)
Yeah, think so. I want to be honest with it. I do not recommend doing it the way I do it. Do not throw a lighter on everything and just it's not the way to go. will. That's a story for another day over a drink. But I will tell you that you can start to investigate what really does make you happy. And you know, even if that's just, you know, I've been doing this really simple exercise for about six months now where every night I just write down three things that made me happy that day.
And sometimes it's, you know, I watch my dog run around the backyard. Sometimes it's, got this really cool thank you email. You know, it's whatever it is. And that usually will bring you up some sort of pattern. So for me it was, when I get to have authentic conversations with people, that really makes me happy. And maybe it was, you know, just us sitting together at a table at a luncheon or, you know, a conversation that I had with a friend and she's thinking about a job change, you know, whatever that is.
And I think you'll start to see some patterns because I was in this boat 100 % and it was like, find your why, why are you doing this? Why is it this? And so, you know, for long time I'm like, well, you know, my why is my kids, right? Cause that feels like if you're a parent, that feels like that should be your answer. And I love my children very much, but they are not my why. My why is freedom. And so I discovered that, you know, again, this trial and error, whatever I'm doing has to have this
element of freedom with it or I'm not going to be happy. And so I've been joking with folks I've been talking to and I say, I'm an I've been an outdoor cat for a really long time. And so if I don't have the freedom to come and go and make my doctor's appointment at 10 o 'clock and run and get a drink or you know, whatever it is, I need that freedom. And so you'll start to uncover those little slivers. And eventually, hopefully, it'll come together like a puzzle and you'll be able to see, okay, this is really where I should be focusing.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (20:17.346)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (20:44.206)
But you may know, I've always wanted to quit my job and take people on a dude ranch tour. Well, okay, then get yourself to the dude ranch so you can start doing those things. So, kind of looking at yourself, and it's gonna be very individual for every person, but that's kind of how I, the exercise I use with people to start.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (21:02.153)
Yes, I love that outdoor camp or outdoor cat example. I love that. Yes. So, you also said you are the person who says, why not when someone else says it can't be done? And I heard you say the same thing, right? Like your kids want to be YouTubers. And I heard like, you know, maybe for a second, this thought comes up like, all right, kids, come on, like, let's get realistic. And then you're like, but you know what? Why not? Like other people are doing it.
Laura Mickler (21:05.014)
Yeah. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (21:26.464)
Right.
Exactly.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (21:31.817)
so where did this why not idea come from you? Like how did that get facilitated?
Laura Mickler (21:37.258)
Yeah, so this was, this was, I will say this was kind of one of those divine downloads that I got at some point in time, but a couple of examples with this. So when I left my corporate career last year, and Melissa, I know you and I were talking regularly in the middle of this, I was a hot mess. Like it was just not great, but I had all these crazy ideas like we're going to move abroad. We're, know, I'm going to sell the house and do everything, you know, and my husband kept saying, we can't, we can't do that.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (21:42.285)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (22:06.722)
Well, I love a challenge. So that fired me up to say, well, we can, we can, we're just choosing not to. And we have good reasons not to. And so I think this partially, this comes from coaching and I'm sure you see it in the therapy world as well. I'm like, sometimes it's very crystal clear to look at the person across from you and see what they need to do. But when it's your own self, it is very hard.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (22:13.005)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (22:26.963)
Mm -hmm. Yes.
Laura Mickler (22:31.606)
And so that's, so why not in my coaching program, each letter of why not is kind of the first six weeks that we work through together. But we talk through things like, who is surrounding you? Is that part of why you don't think you can do what you can do? But, and I'm not saying that when you have a why not decision, let's say it's leaving a relationship that you, it is no longer serving you.
I'm not saying that there's not gonna be work and legal stuff and emotional things, but eventually you can get yourself out of that relationship if you need to. And so those are kind of the bigger decisions and you can, I say start easy, that's like the big guns, right? Is like moving or changing jobs or relationships or that kind of thing. But you can use it for anything and just thinking like, okay,
Can I really not do this? Like am I not physically able to do this or is it more something's blocking? You I could never quit my job and start a business. Well, not tomorrow, probably not. But if that's something that you're working towards, what are these baby steps? You know, don't jump from the valley to the top of the mountain. You have to work your way that way. And so why not, you know, just keeping that in the back of your mind kind of helps you.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (23:28.919)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (23:38.275)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (23:51.5)
you know, make that a little more palatable. So it's the little bites instead of the big, the big bites.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (23:56.811)
Yeah, I love that that's part of your program, the why not. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (23:59.572)
Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah, and it it kind of gives us a structure just towards you and I'll use a guy that I coach as an example when we first started he thought that his Happiness would be from owning his own business and as we work through this it really wasn't for him and so he recently just landed the dream job and you know, everything is taken care of in that way, but had we
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (24:17.665)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (24:25.026)
you know, had we gotten stuck on I can't move or, you know, I don't even want to apply because I'm not qualified or whatever it is, you know, people really hold themselves back on some of those kinds of things. And so you really have to, especially when you're doing in this process of, why can't I, you do have to see, is this a true barrier or am I letting someone tell me it's a barrier? And so that's, you know, it's that perception of everybody else sometimes too.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (24:45.879)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (24:50.485)
Yes. Well, and I'm curious, the coaching work that you do focuses on manifesting and implementing your dreams. And I've heard other speakers over the past years, I'm like paying attention to people who are talking about manifesting and kind of trying to dig in and understand, you know, this idea.
Laura Mickler (24:55.65)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (25:06.296)
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (25:12.621)
And so I've heard different ideas from different peoples on what that means. And so for you, when you talk about manifesting and implementing your dreams, what does that mean for you and how do you implement that in your coaching?
Laura Mickler (25:15.052)
Yeah. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (25:24.236)
Yeah, so I think for me it has to, it has to start with even identifying what the thing is. And then you have to start embodying that thing. So really for me as a coach, you know, I could tell everybody all day long that I'm a coach, but until I really start acting quote unquote, like a coach, like I think, what does a coach have for lunch? What does a coach's schedule look like? You really have to get really, really
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (25:43.981)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (25:52.994)
crystal clear on that. And so, you know, let's use a wonderful vacation as an example, to be able to manifest that you can't just say, I'd love to go to Australia someday. I want you to, what city are you going to? What hotel are you going to stay at? And it's amazing to me how many times I've done things like this over the course of my life and maybe even forgot about them, but because I put it out there, it has come true in some kind of way.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (26:15.383)
Hmm. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (26:19.32)
So I mean, I'll use my car as an example. This is the silliest example. When I was growing up, there was a house in town that had this beautiful Jaguar convertible that sat outside. And I would always drive, and for some reason I loved that car, and I'm not a car person, this is even funnier. so then two years ago, I got to text my best friend and say, dreams come true as I bought my own. And so it's, you just never know once you kind of get it out there.
something in your subconscious starts working on that. so, you know, I think that, but I think what happens to me and I focus in coaching too on people that I call multi -passionate. So, you know, and I think that comes through with me too. I love yoga. I love community. let, you know, there's all these things that I'm very passionate about. And so you do have to kind of rein yourself in if you're like me and your brain is like.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (26:49.453)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (26:58.103)
Mm -hmm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (27:11.298)
but I would really love to be a crochet professional. And then I also love doing yoga. And then I also want to teach, you know, sound bath, like, you know, all of these things. So you have to kind of, have to kind of rein it in and not to say you can't have multiple things going, but the more that you can focus on that one thing that you really want, the more that you can start to see those little glimmers that can make it happen. Maybe you meet someone that knows how to get really good deals on airline tickets that can make your, you know, your Australia trip happen or
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (27:19.66)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (27:41.046)
maybe your child is studying abroad and you have the chance to go over there and visit them or you know, whatever it is. just kind of keeping that, but reminding yourself of that and really letting yourself, whether it's visualization or you listen to books set in that location or whatever it is, just keeping that dream in front of you, I think is the biggest part of the manifestation journey.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (28:04.183)
Yes, and I'm thinking about some things. I love how like concrete those examples are that you're giving. Right. Because it kind of goes beyond the, well, think about it, feel it and act as if. Right. But I'm hearing you say very concretely, like, where do you want to go? Well, how does a coach like what do they eat for lunch? What does that schedule look like? So I really love those very concrete examples. And I'm thinking about some things that
Laura Mickler (28:09.112)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (28:18.156)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (28:25.122)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (28:32.877)
you know, that I want that maybe I could even be more specific in terms of rather than just like a general daydream and feeling how good that will feel, but really think about like, well, when that happens, what are, what am I going to do to celebrate? Like, what will that look like? What will my plan be?
Laura Mickler (28:43.789)
Right, right.
Yeah, and that's probably the yoga teacher in me, honestly, is getting so deep into this visualization. maybe it's, I want a new house. Okay, what's it gonna feel like to walk around in that house with your bare feet? What is the floor going to feel like putting, what is it gonna feel like to put your feet in the grass? All of those, if you could really bring some of your other senses into that, I think it's more powerful too.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (29:03.799)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (29:08.833)
Yes. Yes. Well, I was also wondering about that in your work, you know, because you do the coaching, but you are also a yoga teacher. You have your own studio, you know, and in the therapy worlds, we talk about like the mind body connection, but also in yoga, right? You're also paying attention to someone's body. You're paying attention to the mind and also how those things connect, you know, and so as we're thinking about things that people
Laura Mickler (29:14.22)
Yeah. Mm -hmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
Laura Mickler (29:31.115)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (29:36.057)
They feel aligned with people, their dreams. I'm wondering about if you could talk maybe a little bit about how movement fits in there and maybe also the wisdom that our bodies store that we can tap into.
Laura Mickler (29:45.559)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (29:52.184)
Yes, absolutely. And I think, you know, when it comes to any kind of movement, my biggest advice is that you have to find what works for you. So I'll use myself as an example. I have always been able to hop on and do a spin class. Like I have a lot of, you know, like my body is built for that kind of thing. If you ask me to go run, I'm gonna be the worst runner ever. And so,
kind of knowing that about your body, like not forcing yourself to go do CrossFit when you'd be better as a power walker or just get out and play basketball instead of running six miles, whatever it is, trying to figure that out. So think that that part is huge with it. But I think allowing yourself to be in your body is something, again, that's kind of culturally trained out of us. We're, okay, can I take, and I won't get too far down this because I do think medicine has its place. So I don't mean to say that too, but,
we'll just take a pill for this instead of, know, maybe if I just move my body every morning, I wouldn't feel so stiff when I wake up or, and that's what's huge for me in yoga. I truly, my studio is more of a gentle studio. So we don't do a lot of the hot power flows and headstands and all of those kinds of things. And I think that's been really wonderful for our community because it's a lot of people that were scared of yoga. Like I can't stand on my head, but no, you can come and breathe.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (30:51.587)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (31:10.028)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (31:15.214)
through moving your arms and bending forward and some of those types of things. And so I think allowing yourself to be a little bit gentle, especially, I just watched the Olympics like a crazy woman, right? And those are like the primo top athletes and they're eating 5 ,000 calories at every meal and all of these crazy things because they're at the top of their game. You don't have to be at the top of your game if you don't wanna be. And so if even if it's just a...
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (31:38.989)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (31:41.326)
And I sure you see this most all the time with mental health like there's so much research out there that if you can just move your body a little bit you can get yourself out of whatever funk you're in, you know, I'm not saying, you know, I've battled with anxiety myself. So I'm not saying that there's not a place for you can only do so much. But at the same time, there's so much benefit to just moving in whatever way that looks. And really with yoga, we bring in the breath.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (31:49.933)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (31:54.765)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (32:10.904)
to that too, because what I discovered in the midst of my burnout craziness is I was only breathing in the top half of my lungs. Well, of course my body is not getting adequate oxygen. I'm triggering that tiger is chasing me, fight or flight response. And once I could slow that down and actually breathe all the way down into the bottom of my lungs, like my life changed. That sounds so crazy to say, but I think.
just being mindful of all of that and moving your body and just feeling like does, you know, I do that at beginning of every single yoga class. We're going to check in with our body and see how it feels today. If it's tired, if it's sore, if it's energized, we're not judging any of that. We're just letting it be where it is because maybe you didn't sleep well last night. Maybe you ran six miles yesterday. Maybe you were moving and had to bend and lift boxes, whatever it is, we're not going to judge it. And so I think that's
That's what I see a lot of people get into is like, you know, it's my first day doing something and I should be able to do it like Michael Phelps, right? Like I'm not going to jump in the pool and break a world record. That's not happening. And so, so I think just that time to be able to, connect with yourself and listen. And that's what I find in yoga. A lot of people don't want to be alone with their thoughts and that there's a lot, know, then then I send them to you, Melissa, to, unpack that, but
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (33:23.433)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (33:31.788)
you know, if you can just let yourself have that stillness, a lot of times the physical body will follow.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (33:37.281)
Yeah, and that's so interesting, right? Like thinking about, well, both and, right? Like on one hand, being able to use movement or something like yoga with breathing and stillness as a means of being able to reconnect with yourself and understand where you are or, and even in positive ways as well, right? To get still and really tap into, you know, where you are, what you want for your life, which can be great and hugely beneficial.
Laura Mickler (33:39.553)
Mm
Laura Mickler (33:43.554)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (33:48.686)
Mm
Laura Mickler (33:53.527)
Mm
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (34:07.089)
and also I'm hearing the flip side of like sometimes tuning in is so unbearably uncomfortable and I don't want to do it.
Laura Mickler (34:15.032)
Hmm, right, right. And I think you're exactly right. And honestly, those things can exist together in the same practice. So you can be in yoga, listening to your body, but also tuning out whatever stuff is going on. And so it's, yeah, it's a practice. That's why we call yoga a practice and not a match or a game or any of those types of things, because you're just continually.
doing this practice of how do I need to hold space for myself in all of the ways, physically, mentally, emotionally, all those kinds of things.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (34:44.749)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah, and so knowing that you do yoga and it's more gentle, I guess I'm wondering, what would you say to someone who, it's like, that's not gonna help me feel better. Like the story, their script, is that movement of some sort is not actually gonna make them feel better, even though like research and many people's experience would say otherwise, but that's their belief, right? That stops them from taking action or that's not gonna help me feel better.
Laura Mickler (35:05.058)
Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (35:17.749)
or maybe that's not enough, right? Like if I'm gonna move my body, then it gotta go hard. It's gotta be CrossFit. It's gotta be a one hour spinning class. What would you say to someone who might have that mindset?
Laura Mickler (35:23.456)
Right, right.
Laura Mickler (35:28.61)
Yeah, I would say give yourself, start with seven days and say, okay, over this seven days, I'm gonna walk four times. I'm going to go to two yoga classes. Well, kind of set this little mini goal for yourself and then evaluate at the end. mean, you know, maybe, honestly, yoga, I say yoga is for everybody, but it isn't for everybody. And that may not be something that you enjoy. So then, okay, you make that pivot, you find something else. And, you know, so I think,
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (35:37.623)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (35:58.486)
especially with the going hard, you've got to find people that are willing, you know, and whether it's a coach or it's a YouTube video that you find or something like that, you've got to find a community that will let you start where you are. That's why I adore that couch to 5k for people that want to run, right? Because you're literally starting on the couch, not moving. And, you know, and I always say this about yoga, just show up because people always, you know,
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (36:24.109)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (36:25.678)
I have a lot of people that call me and say, I can't get down on the floor. Or if I get down on the floor, I'm not getting back up. What can we do? And so A, I have some things that can help you get yourself up off the floor, but also like we can have you sit in a chair during the class, right? And so finding those spaces that you can start wherever your level is. And maybe it's you.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (36:40.919)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (36:50.966)
do yoga for two months on YouTube at home before you decide to get brave enough to come to the studio. But with yoga specifically, I can guarantee nobody is watching you. We don't have mirrors in our studio. Like you just come and lay on your mat and do what you can do. And any teacher worth their salt is going to give you modifications for stuff. So, so I'm sorry, I may have gone off on a tangent from your question there, but I think that
you just have to give yourself that grace. And that's not always, you know, something people want, you know, they say, have to start working out. Well, you're not gonna start working out at CrossFit Champion of the World. You're gonna start working out wherever your body is that day. And so you've got to give yourself that patience to do that. I, you know, I have that with coaching all the time. When do you surrender to it versus when do you push yourself? And there's not a right answer for everybody on that, but that's what you've got to figure out for you.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (37:24.269)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (37:44.545)
Yeah. And like what a common theme, right? Like again, it's like a theme that's coming up today in all of our episodes. The thing I think about for myself, like I'm really impatient. If I start taking action, like I want to see results now. There's an image I saw on social media. I had a picture of a kid with a magnifying glass, like bending over looking at grass. And it said something like me looking at the seeds I just planted yesterday. But like they've got a magnifying glass and like,
Laura Mickler (37:49.229)
Hmm.
Laura Mickler (37:55.469)
Right.
Laura Mickler (38:09.034)
Yes, exactly. Yes.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (38:11.905)
Yeah, that's me. I just planted them. And yes, I'm waiting for I'm looking for the flower or the vegetables like, come on, like where they at, I just put in effort to plant them. I'm ready for results. And I'm real impatient.
Laura Mickler (38:17.963)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (38:25.804)
Right. And on the flip side of that though, if you surrender to the process, one of these days you're just gonna walk out and there's gonna be flowers and you, my gosh, I have little baby flowers that are blooming. And so you have to, you almost have to like surrender knowing that you'll be delighted at some point. know, I'm a yoga, my gosh, I had to go on my knees before I could push up into a downward facing dog. And now I can just go from belly and up and my gosh, when did I develop that muscle?
And just those kinds of things, you have to give yourself that little bit of surrender. And trust me, I am the white knuckle person of the world. I'm always squeezing too tight and you just have to let it sometimes.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:01.595)
Yes
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:07.539)
Yes, which is so hard, right? hearing you talk about like, can, you're not going to be an Olympic athlete like today and maybe never, but.
Laura Mickler (39:19.554)
I would say chances are slim always, I'm never saying, you why not? Why can't I be, you know, I saw, is it Dr. Dre's training for archery at the Los Angeles Olympics? So why not? You know, that's not his area of genius, but hey, who says he can't do it? So yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:24.525)
Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:29.687)
Wow, you know.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:37.293)
Yeah, but like knowing that like I got to start somewhere and like every day small steps in that direction.
Laura Mickler (39:43.884)
Yep, yep. And I think too with that not beating yourself up if you miss, right? Like life happens and I am the poster child for life happens. And so you just can't, know, if all you got done that week was getting out of bed, applause like that, that's okay too. And so, yeah, so it's, you know, it's not a straight up slope. It's hills and valleys all the way up.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:47.821)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (39:58.871)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (40:08.233)
Yes. Well, Laura, we talked about your social media and when I see you on social media, I'm always like, wow, she is always doing something that looks so fun. Like Laura is always having fun. That's what I see when I see your post. Like look at her like doing this thing, that thing. She's got a little bucket list. Like, you know, she's just out having fun.
Laura Mickler (40:13.581)
Mm -hmm
Laura Mickler (40:22.604)
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (40:31.883)
And I know that sometimes when we love the things that we do, on one hand that's great, and then also sometimes we gotta juggle and balance. For you, what are the challenges you face when your passion is also your job?
Laura Mickler (40:46.722)
Yeah, I think with that you have to, you almost have to set a boundary of what part of this is business and what part of this is fun and figure out, for me it's figuring out the ways that I inject the fun into the business part. owning a yoga studio is kind of a weird example of this, but you know, even though I love teaching yoga and I love participating in yoga and I love, you know, all the,
sound bowls and crystals and all the things. I love all of those things. I still have to balance my books. I still have to pay my rent. I still have to. So, you know, I kind of tackle that with the business side of things, just like I tackle household stuff. There's just some stuff I have to do and I'm just going to choose not to let it get me down and do some of those kinds of things. But also it is very interesting because, you know, when yoga becomes my business, my personal practice just
kind of goes away sometimes because I'm always teaching, I'm always coaching. So I have to be very diligent about creating opportunities. And so that's the fun stuff that you usually get to see on social media is I'm going to make it a point to go to a yoga retreat. I am going to make it a point to spend this weekend, you know, in my backyard, just doing some yoga. am, you know, you have to kind of figure whatever that is for your situation of injecting a little bit of fun with that. And if you ever do get to a point that it's not
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (41:43.084)
Hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (41:49.975)
Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (42:11.416)
fun, that's the time for reevaluation. and before it gets really bad, if you're starting to notice like, okay, I'm constantly irritated at X, Y, Z. What can I do to bring my passion back for this? You know, why did I start this? What has it brought me? You know, all of those kinds of things instead of, know, I have to go teach yoga classes again. you, speaking as a yoga teacher, like you do get that way, like every Saturday morning, I'm there. And sometimes it's like, I'd rather be in bed.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (42:13.635)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (42:19.544)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (42:35.629)
Mm -hmm.
Yeah. Mm -hmm.
Laura Mickler (42:41.324)
But, you know, also then that's the same Saturday that there is just someone so transformational or someone lays there and sobs because they just needed to get those emotions out of their body. so, know, finding the little glimmers with that too is really important.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (42:52.397)
Mm -hmm.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (42:58.775)
Yeah, yeah, which I think can be in challenge, right? I'm imagining like if someone is coming to a yoga studio, right? Like the stage has been set, whether it's like the colors, the smells of the studio, right? Like there's like, we're setting the stage for a moment of breathing and being. And yet if you are the one facilitating that experience, right? It's not the same experience where it's like, okay.
Laura Mickler (43:09.448)
Mm -hmm. Yep.
Laura Mickler (43:22.754)
Yes.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (43:26.829)
this is go time for me and being able to find a way to say, how do I also take this moment in for myself and to experience kind of the setting that we've been intentional about laying out.
Laura Mickler (43:28.62)
Right, right.
Laura Mickler (43:40.654)
Right. And I think finding what works for you in those situations. So using teaching is another example. When I first started teaching, I'd stress myself out about what flow are we going to do and what posture am I going to move into? And then I just hit a point in this, everybody is different. So I know some teachers that have been teaching for 30 years that still write down every single step of their flow. But for me, that wasn't authentic. So I'm like, okay, I think I want to get us to this peak pose.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (44:04.961)
Hmm hmm.
Laura Mickler (44:10.166)
And other than that, whatever comes out of my mouth, I know how to safely transition people from their back to their all fours to standing up. I know how to do that. So I just need to work through what naturally comes out. And my gosh, my teaching got so much better when I decided to do that. And so that helped me find my passion. Again, with that, this part is stressing me out and you know what, it's actually kind of unnecessary. And so I was able to open that back up to what brought me joy in that moment.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (44:39.991)
Yes. Well, Laura, if anyone is interested in learning more about you, your work, how can they find you?
Laura Mickler (44:47.65)
Yeah, absolutely. So I am on Instagram and Facebook. I'm Coach Laura on Facebook and my Instagram is at Laura Takes a Breath, which is very appropriate for that. And then I also have my website, lauramichler .com.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (45:06.325)
Lovely. And Laura, tell us before we let you go, what is a big dream that you have?
Laura Mickler (45:07.288)
Yeah.
Laura Mickler (45:12.654)
So I know I've alluded to and most of you are probably tired of hearing me talk about this every single time I get with someone, but we, my husband and I both just love the UK. And so our big dream is to own a home there. So we are ever so slowly working towards that goal, which is amazing. So yeah, we are, we're going to be in the North near the Manchester metropolitan area. So that's our, that's our second home. So yeah. Yeah.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (45:23.887)
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (45:28.729)
I love that. Do you have a community picked out?
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (45:37.815)
too. I love it. Well, it's always good to see you and always good to catch up. And I really, I'm sure that the information that you've shared is really going to resonate with people.
Laura Mickler (45:44.299)
you as well.
Laura Mickler (45:51.808)
Absolutely, and I'm happy to flesh out with anyone individually if they have more questions, for sure.
Melissa Wesner, (she/her) LCPC (45:57.738)
All right, thank you so much, Laura.
Laura Mickler (45:59.671)
All right, thanks.
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